NTMP 87: McSkelly
Oops, I sort of did a Halloween-themed edition
New-to-me Phrases, October 29, 2023
The Phrases, With Context
This week we have cheese puns, GERD glasses, and so many oversized unattractive shoes. Let’s get to it!
But first, a poll!
Per NTMP tradition, at the end of each month readers like you get to vote for their favorite phrase from this past month - no context needed. Make your voice heard:
And now for some phrases, powered by black coffee and apple cider doughnuts from our farmers market.
Did you know that the popular 12-foot skeletons from Home Depot have a name? Now you do! (h/t Morning Brew.)
I’ve low-key wanted one of these for a while, and as you may already know, they are hard to find—you basically have to be at a Home Depot at the right time when they’re in stock. I’m not a fan of manufactured scarcity, but goddamn those things are cool.
I’m not a Halloween costume person but we do love to decorate here at Chez McLellan and we have finally achieved our goals of being a Full-Sized Candy Bar House only to live in a neighborhood where we get like 5 trick or treaters total. Tragic!
My long-term Halloween acquisition goals include a 25-foot Stay Puft Marshmallow man looming over our ranch house, and at least two Skellys to hang out around the massive trees in our front yard. According to Washington Post (gifted link), rumors are swirling that Home Depot may cancel making them.
While I’ve got you, a Halloween decoration PSA: Please don’t use that fake cotton webbing to decorate the outside of your house. It’s especially harmful to wild birds who can quickly become entangled in it.
2. Big Parma
This phrase is just a clever punny retort from a Reddit post that doesn’t appear to exist any longer. Mangia!
3. Dingus of the Week
Dingus of the Week is a highly entertaining ongoing feature of journalist and author Lyz Lenz’s newsletter,.
Each week Lenz spotlights someone or something being a dingus in the news or pop culture and examines it through both a feminist and humorist lens. Pun intended.
Chef’s kiss, no notes.
4. Beelzebub’s Bourbon Burpees
Goodr is one of those companies with an enviable marketing team that created a vibe and ran with it, hard. Which is great because they make sunglasses designed to stay put while you run, bike, or otherwise galavant outdoors.
Get your very own pair of Goodr’s Beelzebub’s Bourbon Burpees sunnies here—a perfect low-key Halloween tie-in.
5. Adam Sandler clothes
As we used to say when Twitter was okay-ish, “That’s it; that’s the tweet.”
Vogue wrote about Sandler as an IDGAF tastemaker a couple of years back, as a nod to how fashion got really casual after COVID lockdowns.
I don’t want to know that this exists, but, well, it exists. It’s bad enough that early aughts fashion is back among the youths, who will no doubt begin over-plucking their eyebrows any day now.
The BBC recently reported, with images, that “massive shoes” are “the trend of the year,” tying into a broader “clowncore” fashion movement that draws inspiration from harlequins and clowns. No thank you!
Props to the writer, Daisy Woodward, for the subheading “Go big or go home.”
7. Puckerbutt Pepper Company
This phrase comes from NTMP reader Clark, along with a recent story about Pepper X, which is described as “worse than bear spray” and is now the hottest chili pepper in the world, dethroning the Carolina Reaper.
The ironically named Ed Currie is founder of the Puckerbutt Pepper Company. Known as “Smokin’ Ed,” Currie actually developed both the Carolina Reaper and Pepper X.
Please don’t let Pepper X be an homage to Zombie Twitter. I don’t think my heart could take it.
I recently found the very weird, very funny, very Gen-X-media-infused Instagram account of Sam Register. His bio is blank and I didn’t think much of who he was until I sat down to write this entry.
Turns out Register launched Cartoon Network in 1998 and is the current president of Warner Bros. Animation and Cartoon Network Studios.
He also posts shit like this on Instagram:
I don’t want to google Register further, and I know that saying this is a risk because have you met men? But I feel like we’d be pals.
Because we all need random good stuff
What’s going on at Crocs? Is everyone okay over there? They are having way too much fun with releases like these Lisa Frank platforms, a monster cereals series from my ‘70s childhood (yes, they have all three), and Hocus Pocus glitter clogs. I want to have lunch with their product development team.
Before you rag on Crocs for being uncool or ugly or whatever (fair, fair, and fair!), remember that some folks wear them to manage chronic pain, others want to wear what they want to wear, and also, nobody asked you.
You can take a painting class with a kestrel in Vermont! Look at his happy little face! (Thanks to NTMP reader Tonya for this one.)
That’s it for this week! Remember to stay furiously curious.