NTMP #21: The Rick Moranis Cinematic Universe
Have an unhealthy Coke and a smile
New-to-me Phrases, June 19, 2022
Fish mafia * Healthy Coke * Channeling Shaggy * Sill sammie * Horny for access * The Cheech * Greater fool theory * Fantastic giant tortoise * Richard Cheese * Turkey poets * Your hometown dumpster company
The Phrases, With Context
Happy Father’s Day if you’re a dad and reading this newsletter. I commend you for your excellent taste. If your dad sucks or you’re missing your dad today, I’m sorry. This week we have stoner vans and stoner museums, a wayward tortoise, and comedy god Rick Moranis. Let’s get to it!
1. Fish mafia
Way to go, Toni, open with a bummer of a story as old as humanity about two men trying to do good in the world being murdered for greed.
“But it’s a great phrase!” I say. And then we move on down the list.
2. Healthy Coke
My only note: What fresh hell is this?
3. Channeling Shaggy
The actor who played Shaggy in the Scooby Doo movies, which I have not seen, is renting out the Mystery Machine as an Airbnb. In true stoner fashion, he’s offering bookings for just $20 with all-you-can-eat snacks.
4. Sill sammie
Speaking of stoners, my friend Marlene (who, to my knowledge, is not a stoner) sent me this phrase. She recently met a chef who chilled a sandwich on a windowsill in NYC during the winter because his room didn’t have a mini fridge. An A+ munchies preservation move.
5. Horny for access
Me talking with my friend Tonya about Not a Wheelchair. Because I am horny for access, as I made clear in the last edition of NTMP.
6. The Cheech
I love a good nickname for a building, a la the former Bank One Ballpark becoming known as “The BOB” by locals. I also love Cheech Marin, because I have fond memories of watching Cheech and Chong movies with my dad, who was decidedly not a stoner but found them hilarious, which somehow made them more hilarious to me. He also loved The Honeymooners and Mel Brooks movies, particularly Young Frankenstein.
Apparently Marin is a prolific art collector and he founded The Cheech Marin Center for Chicano Art and Culture in Los Angeles (NYT link), affectionately dubbed “The Cheech” by locals and the museum itself.
It’s fair to say I am also horny for people donating art and art spaces for public good.
Do you know of any other amusing nicknames for buildings?
7. Greater fool theory
I love this. LOVE. IT. The theory states that a fool can potentially make money buying an overpriced asset, because there’s always a greater fool out there likely to buy it.
Bill Gates said this week that crypto and NFTs are “100% based on greater fool theory.” I’m no economist, but it’s not like the entire stock market and the buyback nonsense happening that’s currently driving inflation aren’t also based on this premise. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
8. Fantastic giant tortoise
This is a species of tortoise, Chelonoidis phantasticus, thought to be extinct on the Galápagos Islands until researchers found one old girl roaming one of the islands. They’re hoping to find more so they can keep the species going. 🤞🏻🐢🍑🍆
9. Richard Cheese
Apparently Richard Cheese & Lounge Against the Machine have been doing their schtick since 2000, but this is the first I’ve heard of them. Props for the “Dick Cheese” joke, my man.
This might just be me, but aside from the first few seconds where you think, “Ah; I get it. That’s clever,” I don’t really delight in having to sit through a lounge singer version of a song I like. I’d just rather hear the song. I appreciate that this exists but that’s about it.
With one exception: not to pile on Mr. Cheese, but my first impression upon hearing their cover of “Baby Got Back,” was: “This is a ripoff of Rick Moranis’ Todd Monroe from the Gerry Todd Show.”
You probably know Moranis from “Honey I Shrunk the Kids” or “Ghostbusters,” or maybe, if you’re very awesome, the best movie about raising kids, “Parenthood,” which is in my top 5 all-time favorite films, along with “Groundhog Day” and “Elf.”
But I remember being a skinny, awkward, unsupervised kid peering up at the black and white TV perched on a tall dresser in my parents’ bedroom late every Saturday night. First came the OG cast of SNL (yes, I’m old) at 10:30, then a show called Bonkers, and after that, SCTV, with a cast including John Candy, Catherine O’Hara, Eugene Levy, Dave Thomas, Andrea Martin, Joe Flaherty, and Rick Moranis.
If you’ll bear with me and watch one more video, you’ll get to see my All-Time Favorite Thing on the Internet, also courtesy of unsung comedy hero Rick Moranis:
10. Turkey poets
While attending a Saturday morning writing session in a barn out in the country this weekend (like I do), a flock of wild turkeys showed up. I wondered if they were there for the event and dubbed them turkey poets. The turkeys snubbed us and headed off into the woods. Must be literary fic writers.
11. Your hometown dumpster company
Technically a sentence; I don’t care. I saw this tagline on a sign and had to wonder: Are they suggesting that out-of-town dumpster companies are less trustworthy? Is there some sort of point of pride to be found in discarding 20 years’ worth of Hobby Lobby tschotskes with your local dumpster enterprise that I’m not aware of?
It is probably my love for Rick Moranis and random Turkey flocks (which also happen in my neighborhood) that make this particular edition an immediate favorite-but I think those are sound reasons. Glad I waited to read this until I was feeling better.
I realized after writing this that I forgot to mention BOB AND DOUG. I had their photo in my locker in high school. Because I was cool.