NTMP 152: Seltzer Chemist
Also: Pretty please fill out my poll
New-To-Me Phrases, January 18, 2026
Organized gangs of wine moms | A LaCroix of a thought | A big blubbering piss baby | Raccoon biologist | Belt of Venus
The Phrases, With Context
This is the last edition of NTMP before I make some exciting changes. Here’s a little teaser to look forward to:
In a word: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!
I can’t wait to show you more!
But first! It’s time for the annual NTMP reader poll!
I started this project on Substack on January 30, 2022. That means we’re coming up on the fourth anniversary of phrase-gathering. Whether you’re new here or have been along for this ride the entire time, I appreciate you being here.
As I’ve shared in previous editions, I’m writing a book proposal based on New-To-Me Phrases, and I could use your help. I’ve created a reader poll because knowing what readers like you enjoy informs what I offer here. The poll should take less than 10 minutes to complete:
I also brought you some phrases.
This week, we have three phrases about fluids (eww!), a cool job, and skyline fashion.
Let’s get to it!
1. Organized gangs of wine moms
In the wake of Rebecca Good’s murder by the federal government earlier this month, a Fox News anchor used this phrase to characterize Minnesota protesters. Personally, I prefer ChiAntifa, which I found via Lyz Lenz of Men Yell at Me.
Here’s an excerpt from a recent newsletter segment, the must-read Dingus of the Week. It explains why instead of mocking moms, ICE and the politicians who enable them should be scared of us:
Listen, moms are tired. We had the whole pandemic. We deal with school shootings; we organized during the George Floyd protests. Now there are multiple intersecting economic crises; you are taking away our health care; you’re attacking our trans homies — and you want to roll into the Twin Cities and kidnap our neighbors? We didn’t have a fuck left to give anyway, and if we did, it wouldn’t go to you.
2. A LaCroix of a thought
This one comes via one of my kids. A coworker was struggling to conjure a word for something and said they were having “a LaCroix of a thought.”
Accurate and a burn on LaCroix1? Perfection.
3. A big blubbering piss baby
I’ve long believed that New York Times opinion columnist Jamelle Bouie is one of the finest writers of our era. His sharp political insights are a grounding force during this time of great turmoil.
I also enjoy the dissonance between the gravitas of Bouie’s writing and the delight he shows when when insulting members of the Trump administration. He does it often enough that I almost want to start compiling them.
If you need a mood lifter, watch Bouie call White House Deputy Chief of Staff Stephen Miller a “big blubbering piss baby,” as a little treat. It happens at around 2:15:
4. Raccoon biologist
Raise your hand if you knew raccoon biologists existed. I did not! When a study last year claimed that raccoons are becoming more domesticated, raccoon biologist Lochlan O’Neil posted a video debunking it.
According to her website, O’Neil is currently researching the critically endangered pygmy raccoon in Cozumel, Mexico. I would love to learn more about what that involves, and I’m filing this one under “cool jobs.”f
5. Belt of Venus
I found this phrase via Bill Davison’s Easy By Nature. Belt of Venus occurs before sunrise or after sunset, when a pinkish glow appears above the horizon. Also known as antitwilight, it’s created by the reflection of sunlight in the atmosphere. Here’s a good explainer from BBC Sky at Night. The name has nothing to do with the planet Venus, but rather the snazzy belt the Roman goddess and her Greek counterpart Aphrodite are known for.
Bonus Bits: Ways to support people in Minneapolis
2026 has been one hell of a year so far. I know many of us are reeling from the news (understatement) and want to find ways to help. Here are a few suggestions:
Writers understand the power and beauty of words, and Garrett Bucks of The White Pages is no exception. He created a beautiful way to send messages of support to protesters in Minnesota. Send yours here and see examples here.
Joyce Uptown Food Shelf gets food to people who are afraid to go out amid theh government terror campaign in Minneapolis.
Stand With Minnesota is a mutual aid group defending communities against ICE.
I know we’ve been hearing this over and over and it feels like nothing changes, but call your senators and reps to tell them that you don’t want ICE shooting women in the face, tear gassing family minivans, dragging disabled people out of their cars, detaining US citizens, and otherwise terrorizing neighborhoods. It may not result in any action but our reps need to know how their constituents feel, and hearing from enough people can and should make them nervous. They all want to be reelected, after all. As I keep saying, “It may not be much, but it’s not nothing.”
That’s it for this week! The next time you see NTMP in your inbox or around the internets, things will look and feel different, in completely awesome ways. Stay tuned!
Don’t come for me; I love flavored seltzers! But this IS a good burn and I love those, too!
Big blubbering piss baby was not who I thought it was!