NTMP 118: Divan the Terrible

This Dinkytown ain't big enough for the both of us

New-To-Me Phrases, August 4, 2024

Dinkytown * Barks & Rec * The Oxford Kamalas * Del the goat * Vladimir Futon * Ghost Boat * Millennial kennels * MuffinTok * Luridly corrupt coal dandy

Photo by Kerin Gedge on Unsplash

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The Phrases, With Context

I’m back after a week off so Foo Fighters could melt my face off in Minneapolis. The Pretenders opened for them and let me tell you: at 72, Chrissie Hynde has still got it. She is cool AF. I first saw her perform when I was 15—she was an idol of mine back when so few women were in rock. At one point the band started playing the ballad “Stop Your Sobbing,” and she said, “You’re here to rock,” and they just . . . stopped playing it and kicked into a faster song. My only wish is that they’d played The Wait, which is my fave.

When Dave Grohl walked up to the mic and screamed into it, I knew we were in for a good time. He’s every bit as invested and funny as I expected, and they played for two solid hours. My favorite highlight happened a couple of rows in front of us. A solidly built 6’4” Gen Z dude with long curly hair and a Megadeth jean jacket serenaded a shorter, bald dude during “My Hero,” and the older guy playfully pushed him away at the end, like “Knock it off, you cornball.” The best! I’m assuming this was a father-son thing but either way, it was great to see.

I avoid big arena shows; too many people, too overwhelming. Red Rocks is about as big as I usually do (100% worth it if you haven’t been). But I’m so glad I got to do this with my favorite person—we love traveling to see bands together. There’s something so moving about seeing people give everything they’ve got, while thousands of people joyfully sing along, and this show did not disappoint.

Did you come here for rock show reviews from a Gen X grunge hag? You did not! But you’re welcome anyway.

This week, we have political content because how could we NOT in this bananas news cycle? The last time I wrote this newsletter, Joe Biden was still the Democratic candidate for President and many on the left felt little hope. Now we have Kamala is BRAT and the Gen Zers running her campaign are rightly positioning the opposition as the fringe weirdos that they are and it’s working, and there is hope again.

We also have goofy place names, cookie cutter depression-towns, a cinematic goat, and more. Read to the end to see a thing I posted that made my husband laugh.

Let’s get to it!

1. Dinkytown

A Minneapolis neighborhood with a name that made me giggle.

Here’s what Google Maps had to say:

Close to the University of Minnesota, Dinkytown is the center of Minneapolis student life, with an eclectic mix of secondhand clothing and bike-gear shops, used bookstores, cafes and casual bars. Inexpensive eateries serve everything from pasta and pizza to falafel and burritos. Indie bands and singer-songwriters perform in the area’s offbeat live-music venues, contributing to the party atmosphere at night.

The origin of the name is unknown, according to ::checks notes:: an org called Preserve Historic Dinkytown.

2. Barks & Rec

I am a big fan of punny names for dog parks, day cares, and dog grooming establishments, so I was thrilled to see doggie daycare Barks & Rec in downtown Minneapolis.

A+, no notes.

Do you have a favorite punny pet care name local to you? I wanna know about it:

3. The Oxford Kamalas

This is the name of Kamala Harris’ office softball team, according to this Instagram post showing the custom jerseys.

Is she a grammar nerd? I’d vote for her twice if I could.

4. Del the goat

Each week after watching Game of Thrones prequel House of the Dragon, I enjoy nerding out to the official podcast.

On a recent episode, they spoke with executive producer Sara Hess, who revealed that for funsies, they added a goat named Del to a few scenes in a cursed castle . . . as a sight gag. Be still my heart! She also shared that they envision the Lord of Harrenhal as Frasier. Frasier!!! I screamed in my car when I heard this.

I dream of writing for TV and being a showrunner, and these anecdotes have only deepened that desire.

5. Vladimir Futon

I found this phrase on BlueSky, which feels a lot like Twitter when it was fun and not owned by a transphobic narcissist man-child:

If aliens landed here tomorrow, how could we possibly describe the furniture memes about Trump’s Vice Presidential candidate, J.D. Vance?

“OK so, there’s this mean old racist guy—a convicted rapist and felon who wants to be dictator of our democratic society, right? A real bully who preys on people’s fears while taking their money to enrich himself. Yeah, I know; it blows. Anyway, he chose this guy to be his second in command, and he’s . . . weird? Like, someone described him on Twitter as a Racist Care Bear—you know what a Care Bear is, right? You do? Okay, good, so check out this photo from that tweet.”

“Right? I know! That description was so oddly on the spot, which was both funny and terrifying, and then someone randomly tweeted that he wrote in his book about having sex with a couch—”

“What? Yes, really. Twitter humor can be pretty random.

Here’s the text of the tweet by user rickrudescalves:

can’t say for sure but he might be the first vp pick to have admitted in a ny times bestseller to fucking an Inside-out latex glove shoved between two couch cushions (vance, hillbilly elegy, pp. 179-181)

“Yes, very funny if true. I don’t think he did it, but who can ever really know what goes on behind closed man cave doors? The Associated Press—yes, that Associated Press—wrote a disclaimer saying Vance did not have sex with a couch. But then they retracted it because they couldn’t prove he didn’t have sex with a couch, and—what?”

“I KNOW it seems plausible for this guy! That’s the whole bit. Just wait until I tell you about the dolphin thing!”

“Wait! Where are you going? Come back! I have so many memes to show you!”

6. Ghost Boat

We saw signs advertising this Wisconsin Dells attraction and it reminded me of my earlier assertion that adding ghost to almost any noun makes an awesome phrase. Even known phrases like ghost town are just so alluring—what is it? Why is it ghostly? I always want to know more.

• Ghost sandwich

• Ghost skateboard

• Ghost brain

I could literally do this all day. Is this why I have no friends?

7. Millennial kennels

This phrase came from the very funny comments section on this Instagram post that takes a swipe at modern upscale apartment complexes.

One comment read, “My family calls them Millennial kennels.”

Runners-up include:

• Divorceé containment area

• The gentrification template

• The Villas at Kenny’s House at SoDoSoPa

8. MuffinTok

Who doesn’t love wholesome Olympics content? This Eater article details the Internet’s recent obsession with a French company’s chocolate muffins. The food fad started after Norwegian swimmer Henrik Christiansen posted multiple TikToks riffing on his love for the confections at the Olympic Village. And thus, MuffinTok was born.

9. Luridly corrupt coal dandy

For a hot minute there was concern that Joe Manchin would throw his hat in the ring to run for President. On BlueSky, one of my fave phraseologists, David Roth used Mainstream Liberal Media voice to describe Vance:

Bonus Bits

1. The only post among the many, many dumb things I’ve shared on Insta Stories that made my husband legit LOL.

2. More Olympic joy:

That’s it for this week! Remember to keep making it weird and stay furiously curious.