NTMP 83: Guacbot 3000
What about the salami of sarcasm?
New-to-me Phrases, October 1, 2023
The Phrases, With Context
It’s a new month and it’s time for new phrases! Here in the Midwest we are enjoying the very best weather: blue skies, mid-70s-80s temps, and low(ish) humidity. Farmers markets are still going strong, leaves are changing, and I can’t get enough.
As I wrote this, out of the corner of my eye I saw what I thought was a healthy squirrel walk under my husband’s patio chair, where he was seated across from me. Turns out IT WAS A GROUNDHOG. UNDER MY HUSBAND’S CHAIR. They took off the instant my husband moved and it’s always amusing to see a good-sized rodent haul ass. As residents of the town that still celebrates its status as the site where the movie Groundhog Day was filmed, this felt a little too on the nose.
On to the phrases! This week we have prophetic cheese, hot houses, more library cart names, and a new entry in the NTMP “This Fucking Guy” awards (an accolade I just made up as I wrote this).
But first: A Poll!
September was a shorter month in NTMP-land because I took a week off to recover from orthopedic surgery. But there are still plenty to choose from! Make your voice heard and vote on your fave from last month:
Let’s get to it!
1. The Cheese of Truth
This is one of those comedy bits I wish I’d thought of myself, but 1) I don’t like Swiss cheese (don’t at me) and 2) this looks like a lot of work and I’m not about that. I so think it’s pretty great, though!
Scottish author, illustrator, and standup comedian Olaf Falafel does a recurring gag where he tosses a slice of cheese out of a window onto an open book, and then reads whatever phrase appears through the holes in the cheese. This is the first one I saw on Instagram and it still makes me laugh. And here’s an extreme edition. Lots of stairs to build up the bit. According to Falafel’s website, he also does a standup show featuring The Cheese of Truth. I’m into it.
2. Behavioral Activation
This is the last phrase (I think) that I pulled from Catherine Price’s book, The Power of Fun: How to Feel Alive Again.
Price describes behavioral activation thusly:
A cognitive behavioral technique used for treating depression, that specifically focuses on incorporating more meaningful and enjoyable activities into your life. As a psychiatrist friend of mine tells his patients, “Depression tries to trick you into thinking that you can’t do the things you enjoy because you’re depressed, but it’s actually the exact opposite: you’re depressed because you’re not doing the things that you enjoy.”
Those of us who have lived with situational, seasonal, or major depression 🙋🏼♀️ know that we can’t always snap our fingers and think our way out of depression. And sometimes bright-siding nonfiction authors try to make it sound so simple. Fair points, both.
But I also think that it’s worth trying to act our way out of depression and that there is value in trying to be even a tiny bit more intentional about our lives when we’re going through a depressive phase, and then acting accordingly. YMMV, of course.
3. The Baked Potato Cabin
I found this in a past edition ofby Mike Sowden. During a wildfire in California, one Lake Tahoe area homeowner wrapped his cabin in what looked like aluminum foil, “prompting some to describe it as a giant baked potato or an oversize plate of leftovers,” according to an article in the San Francisco Chronicle.
The cabin was one of a handful that survived the Caldor Fire, and the owner used fireproof blankets, not Reynolds Wrap in a last-ditch effort to protect his home. Read the full story here.
4. Carty McFly
Other book cart names in this post include:
Bookaditch Cartabatch (LOL)
I can’t get enough of these, tbh. Here’s a previous NTMP post about library book carts, and one about snowplows, and one for sharks. If you’re looking for a fun library account to follow on social, you’re going to want to check out the Milwaukee Public Library for that.
5. Blood boy
Here’s this edition’s “this fucking guy” award, which goes to a dude who was getting blood transfusions from his teenage son to try and reverse the aging process. How gross, in the literal and moral sense of the word. Also: it didn’t work.
Confidential to men: Get therapy. (Unless you already are, in which case, carry on.)
Autocado is the name of a machine developed by Chipotle to automatically prep avocados for guac. Normally I’m not a huge fan of machines or AI taking our jobs but this one sounds like it’ll remove a huge pain in the ass from foodservice staff. I do think Guacbot is a better name but autocado isn’t bad.
I brought home some purple bell peppers from the farmers market and one of my kids (who does not read this newsletter) dubbed it a purpper.
That’s it for this week! Until next time, stay furiously curious.