NTMP #43: Boogle Nights

Gettin' down with Goncharov

New-to-me Phrases, November 27, 2022

Phactus * Phony Stark * Goncharov * Productivity fetishist * Crip time * Physiatrist * Groypers * Boogle

Photo by Brent Jones on Unsplash

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The Phrases, With Context

This week we have spiny anatomy, Tumblr excellence, weasel abundance, and more.

I also have an update to last week’s post about Transanta. They’ve created a spreadsheet sharing wish lists that haven’t received any gifts yet. So if you have a few bucks to spare and want to help a trans youth feel seen and cared for, here’s a great opportunity to do just that.

Let’s get to the phrases!

1. Phactus

I love seeing plant life when I visit a new-to-me location, and last week in L.A. was a feast for my plant-loving eyes. Being an uncultured rube, I haven’t spent a ton of time in places where cacti and palm trees regularly grow, so for those of you living in such a place, humor my Midwestern ignorance.

I coined this phrase after seeing one cactus in particular that looked especially phallic. I mean, don’t they all? But really, this one very much did. A brief Google search indicates that it was most likely an “old man” cactus (cephalocereus senilis, lol).

That Google image search also yielded this garden of earthly delights:

1.46 million results in less than a minute, you say? Sometimes, the Internet is all right.

Just 19 ideas, Pinterest? Google found 1.46 million in under a minute.

(Speaking of Pinterest, did you know I have a board dedicated to people about to spill coffee on a bed? Now you do!)

Let’s conclude our Google image search party (hey, that’s a great phrase!) with this gem:

Good old Reddit, always ready with the info you need. This one is via the “Mildly Interesting” community. Sure, why not?

2. Phony Stark

Got this one from my friend John. It’s his friend’s nickname for Elon Musk.

3. Goncharov

This is a week to recognize the awesomeness of the Internet, apparently. The weirdos at Tumblr are at it again, this time creating an entire fake Scorsese movie called Goncharov. Here’s a great explainer via Screenrant. I love stuff like this so much.

4. Productivity fetishist

I sort of accidentally on purpose took this last week off of work, which can be harrowing for a self-employed person without paid vacation time. Thankfully, we have the privilege of financial reserves for me to be able to do this. It still grinds at my internalized drive to always be going-going-going.

But I really, truly, deeply needed this time off, and I feel rested and refreshed and ready to get back to it.

I spent time with my family, got to see some friends, managed to finish reading the Wheel of Time series—which took me AN ENTIRE YEAR to read (where’s my medal?)—and got caught up on some of my favorite Substack newsletters.

This post about how and why we keep track of time at Culture Study by

Anne Helen Petersen

really struck a chord with me.

Petersen writes two lists contrasting how our current capitalist hustle culture structures the use of time vs. the many ways it leaves people out. She also links to other great reads, so this was an enjoyable wormhole to fall into.

5. Crip time

That same AHP Culture Study piece mentions a concept called “crip time,” which lands at an apt moment in my life as chronic pain seems to increasingly eclipse my ability to do the things I want to do at the pace I want to do them.

This Firstpost piece by Srinidhi Raghavan is subtitled “Discarding notions of productivity and guilt, to listen to the rhythms of our bodies.” Yes, more of this, please. If you have a chronic condition of any kind, IKYK.

Raghavan cites the book Feminist, Queer, Crip by Alison Kafer for defining the phrase:

“Crip time is flex time not just expanded but exploded; it requires re-imagining our notions of what can and should happen in time, or recognizing how expectations of 'how long things take' are based on very particular minds and bodies. Rather than bend disabled bodies and minds to meet the clock, crip time bends the clock to meet disabled bodies and minds."

I care about concepts like this not just because I live with chronic pain, but because I deeply believe in structuring baseline societal systems to accommodate people with urgent needs and different abilities first, rather than forcing us to conform to the method designed to extract our efforts to enrich shareholders and C-suite jagoffs. The Curb Cut Effect, babies. Let’s build a world with that as a guiding star.

6. Physiatrist

I got to visit with a friend yesterday who suffered a catastrophic stroke a year ago at age 52. It was so good to see her, and we talked about a lot of the things I just mentioned — learning to adapt in a world built for the able-bodied.

We also talked about how precious each day is, because she was young and healthy and “did all of the right things” (exercised, ate well, drank water, rested) and still suffered a massive stroke due to a rare blood disorder that nobody checks for because it’s rare. Just the hand of fate doling out smackdowns.

Also, a shout-out to modern medicine; my friend is thriving due to lifesaving technology that didn’t exist just five years ago. She mentioned that she’s going to see a specialist called a physiatrist to help further her recovery, and it’s something I’d never heard of and thought was pretty cool, so here you go. It’s basically a medical doctor for physical therapy who helps people with neurological or structural damage to regain as much mobility as they’re able to.

7. Groypers

I mostly don’t want to write about this because I’m sick of writing about this shit, but it’s also sort of important to know about this stuff, you know? Racism never takes a day off.

Heather Cox Richardson

mentioned this term in yesterday's newsletter (a highly recommended daily read) and I looked it up so you don't have to.

I'd heard of the Pepe the frog meme (this explainer link to Know Your Meme is a wild ride, btw) but not this term. Groypers refers to followers of insurrectionist Nick Fuentes and his far-right-wing group “America First.” Apparently both Fuentes and Kanye West had dinner with Trump this week—which okay, that tracks. I hope they all got diarrhea.

My favorite part of the newsletter was Richardson’s dry academic description of the origin of the term Groypers, while also offering incisive commentary about the insane times in which we live:

Fuentes and his “America First” followers, called “Groypers” after a cartoon amphibian (I’m not kidding) backed Trump’s lies that he had actually won the 2020 election.

8. Boogle

I didn’t want to end this week writing about racist fucksticks, so here’s a bonus phrase from the archives.

In addition to a gang, a pack, and a confusion, a group of weasels is also known as a boogle!

There’s a “group of Trump’s lawyers” joke in here somewhere but I’m too lazy to make it.

That’s it for this week! Remember to stay curious and remain furious.