NTMP #42: Hellabyte me.

Let's grant some holiday wishes for trans youth 🎁

New-to-me Phrases, November 20, 2022

Ram water * Sleepmergency * Yottabyte * Haunted bushes * Illinois enthusiast * Transanta

Photo by Paxson Woelber on Unsplash

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The Phrases, With Context

I’m on a quick getaway to Los Angeles with my husband this weekend. We’re going to Elton John’s final North American show at Dodger Stadium. I’m not a fan but I’m also not not a fan, and I think it will be a ton of fun even if we’ll be out well past my elder-o’clock bedtime.

Be sure to read this week’s edition to the end for the chance to make a difference in the lives of trans youth.

With Twitter’s demise imminent, I’ve been going through my master phrases Google doc to make sure I screencap links to tweets. So that’s a fun and depressing admin task. I’ve already found a couple that link to deleted accounts - including “Illinois enthusiast.”

Let’s get to the phrases!

1. Ram water

My friend Cary owns a farm about an hour from me, and she posted a pic of her ducks finding “the ram water” on Twitter. That’s it. Simple. Pure. A good phrase. Though I’m sure the water was gross. Does a duck care? Doubtful.

Here’s the pic:

2. Sleepmergency

My friend Rebecca sent me a Jorts the cat tweet with a phrase I felt in my soul:

3. Yottabyte

Another phrase from another great friend, my pal John, who writes a pretty great blog you should subscribe to.

I guess really smart people are out there coming up with names for new numbers, and yottabyte is one of them.

HOWEVER. They passed up the opportunity to use “hellabyte,” which is RIDICULOUS. Guess they’re not as smart as I thought they were.

4. Haunted bushes

I checked the NTMP wayback machine and found this phrase from this tweet, also from my friend Cary:

This reminds me of the time in middle school when my friend Brent and I tape recorded a bunch of our burps. (As one does.)

We then hid the tape recorder in the bushes near a commuter rail station, playing it at top volume to startle people as they walked past.

I’m still proud of that one. Also, it’s clear why Cary and I are friends.

5. Illinois enthusiast

This phrase comes from a since-deleted tweet, so I guess we’ll never know the joke behind it.

No one is an Illinois enthusiast, trust me. I’ve seen tees and hats trying to sell my state like it’s somewhere cool like Colorado and just . . . no. We have Chicago and corn and Abe Lincoln lived here because it was better than Indiana (objectively true), and that’s it. (Colorado could stand to dial back their state flag marketing, however. It’s obnoxious. It’s suburban sprawl and mountains; calm down.)

Honestly, though, I have no business trying to take down Colorado when this is what I have to work with here:

The only state flag made entirely from clip art

For your enjoyment, here’s an epic takedown of the truly monstrous Illinois flag.

6. Transanta

I have a trans daughter. She came out during the early days of the pandemic, and we’ve been fortunate to have the ability to support her by connecting her with a gender-affirming healthcare team at Lurie Children’s Hospital in Chicago, a therapist to help her navigate transition, voice therapy, cute clothing, etc. Our high school, general practitioner’s office, and dentist are all trans-friendly, and we live in a trans-friendly small town with a great Pride organization.

The primary reason this journey has been difficult for us is the sheer terror that people will be cruel to her, or worse. Because that’s the world we live in, and it’s only gotten worse thanks to right-wing media and personalities scapegoating trans youth and their parents for their own political and monetary gain. If you think Ron DeSantis is a more palatable Trump, consider the nightmarish impact his presidency would have on families like mine, when he seeks to criminalize parents and strip trans people of gender-affirming healthcare access.

When my friend Suzi shared a link to the Transanta Instagram account this week, I’ll admit I spent an inordinate amount of time crying while reading these young people’s stories. So many of them are either closeted because they fear their parents won’t understand or will even kick them out of the house. Just as many were actually kicked out at a very young age and struggle financially and emotionally. There are many stories of trans youth lacking basic needs like having enough to eat.

The love, acceptance, and resources we are fortunate enough to provide to our daughter is not available to these kids. It’s just heartbreak all the way down. So I’ve decided to do what I can with my small but mighty platform here. If you’d like to contribute to brighten the holiday season for a transgender youth and offer a sense of caring and humanity that they may not otherwise receive, you can donate to transanta in more than one way:

1. You can visit the transanta IG account and read some of the stories from these beautiful, hopeful young people. Then click the link in bio to see gift registry links and make an anonymous donation to an individual Amazon wishlist.

2. You can make a direct monetary donation to the organization’s operating fund through their partner 501(c)3 organization, Allies in Arts.

3. If you can’t donate, you can spread the word by sharing links to the transanta website and Instagram to your social media and newsletter.

Here’s some CNN coverage about the organization, which started in 2020. Here’s another article about it from The Lily.

My dream is to one day raise enough money to clear every one of those wishlists every year. The things I could do with a billion dollars, man.

By the way, if you’re a transphobe, just unsubscribe. 👋🏻 No need to email to tell me I’m wrong or a “groomer” or whatever other right-wing fearmongering nonsense you’ve ingested. You should know that your needlessly hateful beliefs and actions are actively harming people and their families who just want to live our lives in peace.

However, if you have questions and want to understand more about transgender parenting, I’m happy to have a conversation about it.

Thanks for considering donating to transanta, and for reading NTMP. I appreciate you.

Remember to stay curious and remain furious!