NTMP #4, February 20, 2022
NTMP #4, February 20, 2022
Join me for some curdside pickup
This week’s new-to-me phrases
Curdside * Frostitute mayor * #knifewife * 2lesbianseatout * 92-year-old shred lord, Nancy * The vulva hypothesis * Hagitude * King of Tents * “Butt Crack” avalanche * The Stevie skirt
The phrases, with context
This week we have anatomically named landforms, amateur food critics, and the celebration of some delightful self-described weirdos.
A bonus! Try something fun! If you need a reason to put some new-to-you phrases to good use, try your hand at naming some new colors for the internet.
1. Curdside
This is the cheeky name that Wisconsin butterburger purveyor Culver’s uses for their curbside pickup. I’m into it.
Take it from a professional Midwesterner—their fried cheese curds, burgers, custard, and onion rings are all really good, but the Culver’s fish sandwich is amazing.
2. Frostitute mayor
My friend Kelly, a true master at conjuring cackle-worthy phrases, came up with this one referencing the Ohio mayor who opposed adding ice fishing shanties to a local lake on the grounds that it could attract sex workers. He resigned last week.
3. #knifewife
This one is an extremely inside baseball phrase for fans of Leigh Bardugo’s Six of Crows YA fantasy duology. This week, Bardugo posted a pic on IG with cast members from the Netflix series Shadow and Bone, which features some of the Six of Crows crew, including Inej, who is skilled with knives.
This phrase is satisfying without context because it’s both aspirational and threatening.
Side note: Bardugo’s Ninth House, which explores the question, “What if the secret societies at Yale were actually heavily involved in occult activities?” is also a great read.
4. 2lesbianseatout
Via my friend Wendy, this hyperlocal Instagram account is run by a couple of amateur food critics seeking the best food and drinks in Grand Rapids, Michigan. (Their IG bio is pretty great, too.)
5. 92-year-old shred lord, Nancy
As someone who can barely get up from the couch without groaning like I’m giving birth, I truly cannot contemplate existing, let alone surfing at 92 like Nancy does.
6. The vulva hypothesis
This phrase refers to one of several theories about the original purpose and function of Stonehenge, via the New York Times. That article is probably paywalled, but it links to a scientific essay outlining a theory that Stonehenge was crafted as an homage to mother Earth via a depiction of female anatomy.
I like this phrase because it would make a great band name:
“Hi. We’re The Vulva Hypothesis. Thanks for coming.” ::guitar riffs::
7. Hagitude
Both the name of a book by Sharon Blackie coming out later this year and an apt descriptor for my default mien.
8. King of Tents
I love profiles about people who do cool things that most of us have no clue about. Read this (non-paywalled) Outside Business Journal profile of Jake Lah, who used creative problem-solving to revolutionize aluminum tent poles, thereby transforming the outdoor industry. Lah, a self-described weird guy who doesn’t enjoy camping (!!), is still at it, working with major gear manufacturers and currently developing his own line of tents.
I also enjoyed learning that people design and develop tents for a living. Like, I knew this intuitively, but had never contemplated it as a full-time job.
9. “Butt Crack” avalanche
This weekend, I did a quiz instead of a poll on Instagram because I’m an idiot. I’ll bet your weekend was more fun than mine, is what I’m saying.
Anyway, when presented with two phrases, Butt Crack avalanche or Colorado’s Butt Crack, the former won by a . . . wait for it . . . landslide. Thanks for voting!
Anyway, “Butt Crack” is the unofficial local name of a ski chute near Loveland Pass where an avalanche occurred recently.
This is a case where the phrase is a lot more fun than the actual story. But props to the newsletter crew at Outside for the email subject line that introduced it:
“Everyone OK After ‘Butt Crack’ Avalanche.”
10. The Stevie skirt
Speaking of landslides, this New Yorker profile of Stevie Nicks by Tavi Gevinson thrilled my weary Gen X heart. Nine-year-old Toni, who was OBSESSED with Rumours, is just so happy about this. So is 15-year-old Toni, who desperately wanted to be Stevie Nicks. (I got a lot of perms in high school. So. Many. Perms.)
54-year-old Hag Toni found so much to love here: Nicks’ friendships with Tom Petty and Prince. Her true weirdo artist’s heart (that journaling technique!). The origin stories behind her ponchos and the “Stevie skirt.” Her healthy disdain for men, and her joy in mentoring younger women, along with her pinky-swear pact with Christine McVie to never let men shut them down in meetings. It’s all there for you to enjoy, too.
Runner-up phrase from this profile: Fashion-magazine hag.
That’s it for this week. Thanks for reading, phrase-lover! See you next Sunday.
