NTMP #28: Tingle mode
If you need me, I'll be in my Hobbitat.
New-to-me Phrases, August 14, 2022
Goblin Ass Town * Plunge Papi * Hobbitat * Baby map * Tingle Tables * Útilykt * Institutional chic * Article clubs * Lauren Boebert’s jackass husband * Ironic Boat and Tote * Aptonym * Summer’s down elevator * Tomato mode
This week we have a veritable feast of phrases, including NFTs with butts, plunger fun, infant dopamine hits, and an ode to late summer. I didn’t even include all of the phrases I collected over the past seven days. I’ll toss those in during a slow week.
The Phrases, With Context
1. Goblin Ass Town
I know as a creative, I should probably 1) understand and 2) care about NFTs, but I just can’t.
Here’s the bit I do care about: Goblin Ass Town is a riff on a collection of NFTs called Goblintown.
You can read more about this whole deal on Buzzfeed if, unlike me, you give a shit about NFTs.
2. Plunge Papi
Are you ready for some wholesome content? Chris Ivan, aka Plunge Papi, throws plungers at corporate signs and it’s delightful.
3. Hobbitat
4. Baby map
Neil Agarwal made a map that lights up every time a baby is born around the globe. Neat! There’s lots of other fun stuff at his aptly named site, Neal.fun.
5. Tingle Tables
I found this phrase in this wild ride of a Washington Post article on the sad state of IRS facilities, tech, and staffing. Here’s an excerpt that says it all, really:
The technology dates to the 1970s — though this particular machine was updated in the ’90s to make it Y2K-compliant. The company that once manufactured SCAMPS no longer exists; when the machine breaks down, an IRS employee fabricates replacement parts on-site. “Only one guy knows how to fix the thing,” says John Desselle, a mailroom department manager.
The agency uses equipment named SCAMPS, The Nibbler, and Tingle Tables. If I wrote any of this into a novel, no one would find it credible.
Here’s a bit on Tingle Tables:
Tingle Tables were once considered cutting-edge technology — in 1962, when an IRS employee named James Tingle built the first prototype in his backyard.
Basically, a Tingle Table is a half-elliptical desk with slotted shelves for mail or document sorting.
Can we PLEASE get a reality show going about these facilities and their MacGyvering staffers?
6. Útilykt
This is lyrical and great but also less so depending on where you’ve spent time outdoors. I’m looking at you, Nebraska, the state that smells like manure every time I drive through it on the way to and from Colorado.
7. Institutional chic
Here’s an original phrase from yours truly, describing the exterior of this Zillow listing.
8. Article clubs
I’ve had this idea for years. YEARS! I still want to do a podcast where a cohost and I discuss various pieces of longform journalism.
This phrase comes from interior stylist and budding urban planner Dominique Gebru’s website. Gebru writes a paid newsletter about the U.S. housing system, including affordable housing and gentrification, along with interior design.
9. Lauren Boebert’s jackass husband
Really, does this one need further explanation? Actually, yes, because per the Denver Post, it’s a direct quote from one of Boebert’s neighbors on a 911 call.
Apparently, neighbors had asked one of the Boeberts’ sons to stop speeding down their residential street in a ::checks notes:: dune buggy. Squire Boebert responded by running over a neighbor’s mailbox and challenging neighbors to fight him. A totally normal and reasonable way to behave!
Even more disturbing, residents feel they aren’t getting much help from the local sheriff, who is a Boebert supporter. Yikes.
Think of this story as a call to action to in-district Colorado residents to vote blue this fall. Here’s a Post profile of Adam Frisch, Boebert’s opponent.
10. Ironic Boat and Tote
This is an Instagram account that posts pics of people who write funny messages on monogrammed L.L. Bean tote bags. This trend brings me deep, deep joy. Then again, I once bought monogrammed towels that spelled FART and set them up in my parents’ guest bathroom without telling them, so I’m definitely the target market for this sort of nonsense.
What would you write on your Bean Boat and Tote bag?
I will say that these totes — and all totes like this — look really uncomfortable to carry around. Give me a crossbody bag or give me death!
11. Aptonym
Via the NYT crossword for Saturday, August 13, 2022. Uh, spoiler alert.
Here’s the clue: "
Person's name that's amusingly appropriate, like Usain Bolt or William Wordsworth.
It would be awesome if IRS desk designer James Tingle had a brother named Dick.
Got any good aptonyms to share, either real or fictional?
12. Summer’s down elevator
This was the subject line for a NYT “The Morning” newsletter by Melissa Kirsch this week. This phrase describes the waning days of summer.
13. Tomato mode
Another email subject line, this one from the NYT Five Weeknight Dishes newsletter by Emily Weinstein. I am definitely in tomato mode. My plants are all taller than me and I can’t get enough of them this time of year.
Sorry if you’re not a NYT subscriber because I went heavy on that source this week.
Poll results!
Last week, 15 of you voted on the Chaco Taco and the majority correctly decided that it’s a great name but a garbage execution. They’re just not that good! Thanks for playing.
That’s it for this week! Remember to stay curious and remain furious.
I would also like to chime in that the delight of an outdoors smell is definitely proportional to both the current season and geographic location.