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NTMP #24: Invasive Nerd Fish
Countdown to clownfall
New-to-me Phrases, July 17, 2022
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The Phrases, With Context
I’m back from a much-needed and most excellent family vacation to the Oregon Coast, a verdant paradise I would immediately move to if 1) I felt at all like doing another cross-country move and 2) the summer weather there was the year-round weather.
I know what a privilege it is to be able to travel, and I’m deeply grateful to be able to do so. We still take COVID precautions (high quality masks in public spaces) and it was great choosing an uncrowded, peaceful place to just be. As a former travel writer who used to take her kids along on adventures, it’s been hard not being able to travel as a family for nearly a decade (and even then it was to the Wisconsin Dells), so this trip was extra special for all of us.
Enough about me, it’s time for some phrases! This week we have invasive slimy things, indigenous crunchy things, hilarious nerdy things, cola coffee 🤢, and virtual pizza pals.
1. Giant African land snail
When I started writing this newsletter, I did not predict I’d cover invasive species as often as I have. And yet here we are. Due to the severe health risk posed by these creatures, likely illegally imported by Floridians as exotic pets, can we pack a few into DeSantis’ lunchbox?
What kind of lunchbox do you think DeSantis would own? That shitty Hercules show? The 10 Commandments? Trump as Rambo?
When I saw this portmanteau, I was thinking “gentle” as in “patient and calm” but it’s actually a pun on “gentlemen” and “minions,” and it involves The Best Gen, Gen Z, attending the latest Minions movie while wearing suits and ::checks notes:: . . . getting kicked out or banned for doing so.
3. Eisenhower Matrix
I knew about this urgent vs. important decision-making chart but had never heard it called by this name. Here’s a good explainer via Todoist, the app that runs my life. As someone with ADHD, I often struggle with discernment; everything feels like either a priority or achievable—or both—and all at once. The distinction between urgency and importance and where they overlap is therefore a helpful one.
4. Pizza Assistant workflow
This is an actual iPhone workflow that I IMMEDIATELY added to my shortcuts. It searches for pizza places near you, with links to call and order, and then you can input the time until your pizza is ready, factoring in drive time.
5. Coca Cola Coffee
Apparently, this is an actual product. The name is “Coca Cola with Coffee” but either way, I vote no.
I want to see this headline, but for Trump going to prison. (It’s called manifesting, look it up.)
7. Prairie crayfish
My local conservation district posted this pic on IG and I did not know we had an indigenous crayfish species in Illinois. Neat!
I would, however, absolutely lose my shit if I saw one of these things roaming in the grass.
8. Nerd Fish
My middle kid (who doesn’t read this newsletter) shared this meme during our vacation by asking if we wanted to see a nerd fish and presenting this on their phone:
This same child also said, “Unfortunately: Clowns” with no other explanation. It was a fun vacation, is what I’m saying.
Thank God this is just a URL for an elephant garlic festival in Oregon. Would attend.
10. Tire trail
This is exactly what it sounds like - a trail made from old tires. A tire trail was the only footpath from our hilltop vacation home to the beach. Due to my wonky ankle, I wasn’t able to walk the tire trail, but those family members (including a Coloradoan) who did now have PTSD due to the difficulty of the incline coming back up.
11. A Bonus!
I found it: The video that perfectly encapsulates how we live now:
(h/t to Kathleen for this one.)
That’s it for this week! Stay curious and remain furious.