NTMP 150: Polar Vortex Core
It's the farty nits we made along the way.
New-To-Me Phrases, December 14, 2025
Landfill core * Extremely donked up * God’s combo * Plowdy Duty * The Grink * Jennifer Coolfridge
The Phrases, With Context
It’s -2 degrees Fahrenheit in the Chicago area, with a “feels like” of -18. Just a big, fat “eff you” from winter over here. At least the sun is shining?
This week, we have future trash, a celebrity fridge, extreme commitment to a bit, and more.
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Enough with the promo — you came here for phrases and I’ve got some good ones for you. Let’s get to it!
1. Landfill core
This Reel on Insta really struck me, and it spawned a lot of thoughts, so strap in. It’s a video panning over the aisles at a Marshall’s labeled landfill core, but it could just as easily be a Kohl’s or a JC Penney or a Target or a Walmart. It’s captioned “Why do we keep making new garbage when there’s already so much garbage?” I noticed this proliferation of cheap, obligatory gifts a few years ago. The stuff you buy when you have a gift swap or a teacher gift (tip: they do not want this stuff!) or relatives or friends to whom you must pay fealty in the form of consumerism: “I got you these cheap gloves and/or slippers and/or this plastic gag gift made by someone in a sweat shop. Merry Christmas!” Whyyyyyyyy are we living like this? 😫
My parents were born in the U.S. in the 1930s and both were without means—my dad came from a tiny coal mining town in the house his carpenter dad built in rural Pennsylvania and my mom lived in a cold-water flat on Chicago’s North Side, where they had to boil water for baths. My dad used to tell me, with full Dickensian gravitas, that as a kid all he’d get for Christmas—if he was lucky—was a shirt and an orange. As a result, my dad wanted the tree to be packed with gifts for his own family. We struggled financially when I was young, but he’d run out to a discount store (real ones remember Venture and Zayre) and buy a bunch of stuff to wrap and put under the tree. He didn’t want his kids to wake up to a shirt and an orange. He also almost certainly had ADHD, which makes shopping a challenge in terms of impulse control.
All this to say: I’ve seen the ways we shop and the proliferation of cheap garbage dramatically change in my own lifetime. Recently at a Goodwill I noticed the flimsy, plasticene items on offer, as opposed to when I used to regularly thrift in the ‘90s and found quality goods made with intention and care. Another drop in the bucket of knowledge that the ways in which we are living are not sustainable. Old man yells at cloud, yada.
A few years ago, I decided to only buy holiday ornaments and decorations from artists, artisans, and crafters. Now that my kids are grown, my family has scaled back our gift-giving and my kids say they don’t want any more “stuff.” I am glad that they care the most about the traditions—putting up the tree with music playing, driving around to look at holiday lights, the cookies and meals and time together. If I had my way, we’d do a book exchange as an excuse to support my awesome local bookstore. But that’s a “me” Christmas and I want them to be thoughtful about their own traditions.
If you celebrate Christmas, have you created your own unique spin on the holidays? I’d love to hear about it.
2. Extremely donked up
Speaking of buying from indie artists, I got this phrase from my friend Lee, a Montreal-based zine artist who runs Sheer Spite Press. I can’t even remember what Lee was referencing, but I spit coffee out of my nose when I read it and had to include it here. I LOVE a goofy replacement for a swear word! I need you to immediately start using “donked up” everywhere you go. Teach it to your kids! Make it go viral! Donked up is the new 6 7!
If you’re in Canada, grab some zines and stickers from Sheer Spite Press.
If you’re in the U.S., shop here (for tariff reasons).
3. God’s combo
Occasionally, I say something worthy of this newsletter, and this phrase is one of them. When I learned that my personal trainer also loves Taco Bell, I said, “Taco Bell and Mountain Dew: That’s God’s combo right there.”
Get yourself a trainer who eats food like a real person. Have you had the Taco Bell Baja Blast pie yet? I vote no on that one myself, but I love an adventurous eater like my pal Dennis Lee.
4. Plowdy Duty
I would be remiss if I didn’t share a good snow plow nickname each season. This one is via my Hag friend Wendy, who lives in Michigan. I went to look up MDOT’s snow plow names and holy forking shirtballs, they have like 200 plows with nicknames!! And a map with a plow tracker layer!!! My brain cannot contain this much magnificence!!!! I’m not from Michigan so I couldn’t really identify any mitten-state-specific plow names beyond Yooper Scooper (LOL), but check them out and have fun with that massive list. I particularly liked Aaron Brr, Sir and Sleety Pie.
5. The Grink
Another holiday-themed phrase from an old tweet that still exists (rare) over on Elon’s white-supremacy machine:
![Tweet by @murrman5 Oct 1, 2019: [me telling my story how I survived a plane crash and lived on a desert island for a year] it was crazy [friend who once got a text from me where I accidentally called the grinch the grink] was the grink there?](https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!ATW-!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F7e4b1ce0-8a5a-4508-8fc1-410093b6b402_1204x542.png "Tweet by @murrman5 Oct 1, 2019: [me telling my story how I survived a plane crash and lived on a desert island for a year] it was crazy [friend who once got a text from me where I accidentally called the grinch the grink] was the grink there?")
If you know me at all, you know that I am 100% this friend. Recently, one of my friends made an autocorrect error for “fatty nuts” (the name of our shared Google doc—long story) that came out as “farty nits,” and I IMMEDIATELY made that our group chat name.
6. Jennifer Coolfridge
TWO nicknames for inanimate objects in one newsletter? These are exactly the kinds of subscriber perks you get for supporting NTMP.
Friend and longtime NTMP supporter Lindsay sent this one, via the Only in Boston (@onlyinbos) Instagram:
“This Thanksgiving, shoutout to Jennifer Coolfridge, Brookline’s community fridge offering free 24/7 access to nourishing food and serving as a crucial resource for families affected by the SNAP freeze.”
Bonus Bits
1. Looking for a way to do some good this holiday season?
Support Trans Santa! The best way to connect and find wishlists is via Instagram - here’s a bit about their mission:
@transanta is a mutual aid social media campaign that connects anonymous gift-givers with trans youth who are unhoused, in foster care, or otherwise without crucial support they need to thrive. @transanta exists to show trans youth that they are loved and supported, and that they have a family of people around the world who care for them, believe in them, and want them to succeed.
2. Remembering a real one
This fall, Chicago and the rest of the world lost a legend when artist, actor, and poet Tony Fitzpatrick died at age 66. Fitzpatrick’s art often featured birds and he was a no-nonsense, fierce advocate for habitat conservation. If you read any links I share in this edition, read this moving tribute and see some of Fitzpatrick’s incredible art, via The American Birding Association. Here’s another tribute from the excellent Block Club Chicago.
3. Pluribus reference: IYKYK
4. In re: Sandwich Guy’s recent acquittal
I wrote about that here, but I got you another gem:
That’s it for this edition! Look for one more to close out 2025 and then we’re on to a new year and new adventures in phrase-making. Remember to keep making it weird and stay furiously curious!
I concur. Thanks for this spin on fealty gifts. As a former teacher, I can say that gift cards, even for a small amount, are very often most appreciated. Although I find it difficult to dispose of the excess number of mugs I received over the years, there is a limit to how much we can acquire.