New-To-Me Phrases, March 10, 2024
Porcine conveyance * Harvard Fart Squad * Salty, defiant, and extremely noncompliant * Fundie baby voice * Morgue Kitchen aesthetic * ChatGOP * Midwestern Spaghetti Void

The Phrases, With Context
I’m back after a week in LA and then a week catching up with life and work. Guess which one went better? Turns out spending a week talking about art and eating tacos is excellent for the soul. No surprises there. A+ would taco ‘bout writing on the beach again.
Enough about me; you’re here for phrases. This week we have serious pot pie enthusiasts, cool bean science, dragging un-Christlike Christians, my unceasing greige hate, and more.
1. Porcine conveyance
I’ve written before about my friend Charlie’s ongoing Instagram series of videos depicting his excitement about chicken pot pie night at his house. Seriously, click that link; this bit gets funnier as more get added on. There’s a recent one where a guy jumps on a boar’s (?) back and the bewildered animal spins around a few times before running off. Charlie tells me that it brought the phrase “porcine conveyance” to mind, and I had to include it here.
2. Harvard Fart Squad
NTMP reader Kathleen tagged me specifically (I’ve never been more proud) because of this phrase in a Serious Eats article exploring whether you can stop beans from making you fart. You’ll have to read the whole thing to find out.
The writer wanted to test various theories on this subject, and was able to recruit a group of gastronomically adventurous student volunteers, which he immediately dubbed The Harvard Fart Squad. I hope they put this on their resumes.
3. Salty, defiant, and extremely noncompliant
Spotted on Instagram. I couldn’t find the source for this alternative to “sugar and spice and everything nice,” but I liked it and thought you would, too.
4. Fundie baby voice
recently referenced this piece by ex-evangelical Jess Piper describing the breathy, syrupy voice used by Katie Britt’s much-discussed, lampooned, and debunked rebuttal to Biden’s State of the Union address. I’d not heard this term before but it’s definitely a “once you notice it, you can’t not notice it” sort of deal. Especially for a loud, direct, fast-talking Chicago-adjacent rube like myself.Piper shares two notable caveats:
Now that you know the term and what to look for, I want to warn you that the voice doesn’t always equate to a terrible woman or even a submissive one. I grew up with so many who used the voice because they were trained to use it. They are kind women who show up for others in sickness and in need. They take care of their families and their neighbors and their church sisters and brothers. They are living the life they feel called to lead—I give them grace and understanding. They are not out to harm others.
But, I pay attention to the voice when I hear it from folks in power. I am jolted awake when I hear the voice dripping sugar from a mouth that claims to love all while stripping rights from many.
5. Morgue Kitchen aesthetic
Speaking of Britt, her kitchen has also been a topic of discussion over the last week, ranging from the calculated choice of that setting as a symbol of women’s oppression to journalists calling out her outright lies about child sex abuse to people trying to determine whether her island beadboard was yellow or beige. Then I saw someone refer to her kitchen as “Morgue Kitchen aesthetic” in a comment on social media and I died. I am writing this from beyond the grave.
This is a great burn not only of this conservative tool’s aesthetic, but of the coldness of the grey-and-white or greige interior trend of recent years. (My living room walls are painted turquoise, in case you were wondering where I land on that spectrum.)
6. ChatGOP
Look, I don’t mean to pile on Katie Britt, except I do, because she is in a position of power and seeks to harm others by wielding it while inhabiting a simulacrum of a good person.
Here’s an Instagram reel parodying her speech by referring to it as “ChatGOP.”
7. Midwestern Spaghetti Void
Let’s lighten the mood! NTMP all-star Rebecca sent this Instagram reel from the Michigan Animal Rescue League. It’s a delightful romp through a series of clever cat names and funny made-up cat breeds, and Midwestern Spaghetti Void was my fave breed.
You can donate to MARL here.
That’s it for this week! Remember to say furiously curious and keep making it weird.
I followed Jess Piper on Twitter before I had to delete that acct. Did not know she had a Substack too! Thanks for the link.