NTMP #1: The raccoons of Florida

It's called new-to-me phrases because I couldn't think of another name. Good thing I'm not a writer!

Well, hello there. If you’re wondering how and why this newsletter landed in your inbox, it’s because I used to write a newsletter about the writing life that included a list of new-to-me phrases, shared without context.

It’s been ::checks calendar:: a couple of years since I last sent that newsletter. Much has changed, as we all know. During a period of burnout and pandemic-induced grief/depression, I decided to ditch the writerly stuff and keep the new-to-me phrases to add a bit of levity to your inbox, because I think that’s something we could all use, especially right now.

And here we are. If you aren’t into this, you can unsubscribe, with no hard feelings.

If you’re still with me, let’s get to this week’s phrases! 📝📓✨ —Toni

New-To-Me Phrases, Week of January 23 - 29, 2022

Snowba Fett

This is why I can’t quit Twitter. Check out the original tweet in that thread, too.

Lewdle rage

Me, describing my daily fury at being one of the most disgusting people I know whose mind goes blank when presented with a Lewdle puzzle. Lewdle is an offshoot of the (justifiably) wildly popular Wordle. In fact, you can add both Wordle and Lewdle to my list of new-to-me phrases for this month.

Fun fact: One of the developers of Lewdle, @garywhitta, wrote the first draft of the screenplay for Rogue One, one of my very favorite Star Wars movies. Here’s the teaser trailer. (He did bail on the project, and I’d love to know why.) I love a ragtag team adventure. And a good movie trailer.

Floating Judgment Box

Via @catsdoingthings on Instagram.

Minge

From the Lewdle Rage files, this was the answer to one of the puzzles last week, and I’d never heard of it. I guess I’m not that disgusting after all! I don’t even know who I am any more. I’ll leave you to Google this one on your own (it’s not that bad).

Goddess of the Snack Drawer

If you’re not following Ostdrossel’s bird and pond cam account on Instagram, maybe you should be. Or not—be free, live your life. Anyway, this amazing phrase came from one of her posts and it spoke to my soul, as a fellow snack drawer deity.

Glenview Park and Swab

Saw this in a newsletter referencing a local COVID testing center and I had to document it as emblematic of the bleak dystopia of this particular moment. Fun!

Cake Shake for Life

If you’ve never eaten at Chicago area hot dog franchise Portillo’s, you’ve never tried their chocolate cake, which is amazing. As in: several members of my family request it for their birthday cakes, and one of my kids even asked for one for Christmas because he’s an evil genius. More like chaotic good, but you get my drift. It’s really good cake!

Anyway, if you’ve never eaten at Portillo’s, and you’ve never had their chocolate cake, then you’ve definitely never had one of their chocolate cake shakes. My husband tried a cake shake for his birthday last week and said it left him so full for hours afterward that you could probably survive on a daily cake shake and still lose weight. I dared him to try it so he can make the headlines like the guy who spent $150 a year to eat all of his meals at an amusement park. We named this meal plan “Cake Shake for Life.” If you try it, be sure to let the media know!

Thesaurus Rex

Tony Kornheiser shared on the Jan. 28th episode of ESPN’s Pardon the Interruption (PTI), a show I watch even though I don’t partake in the sportsballs, that this was his nickname when he was an English major in college. I’m into it. 🦖📓

The raccoons of Florida

My friend Abby describing the iguana invasions that happen down there. I kinda wish they’d take over as governor. That’s a livestream I’d pay to watch.

A “worst come, first served” basis

More dystopia. If ever there was a phrase emblematic of America's crumbling . . . everything, this is it. I think I read this in a Morning Brew newsletter. Sometimes I forget the origins of a phrase because I have the memory of a goldfish.

More Dave Grohls

I agree with this tweet that the world could use more Dave Grohls. Unless it would become a Highlander situation where they’d have to duel to the death by beheading with a sword. Actually, that would be pretty cool, too. There can be only one! Bring on the Grohls!

Pustulant scrote

Via my friend Kathleen, who delights in both being clever and low-key trolling me to make it onto the phrases list. She succeeds often, as you’ll quickly learn. At some point I’m probably going to have to credit her and a couple of other friends as contributors to this thing.

Cancela Lansbury

The Twitter name responsible for this absolute work of art (h/t to my friend Derek for this one). No, seriously; click that link.

Thick Mints

My middle kid, describing how any cookie you eat after a Thin Mint just tastes like another Thin Mint.